HelKat
by Athene18
Summary: Do you know why I call you Helga? The Vikings had a goddess called Hel. And from the waist up, she was a beautiful woman, but down below, she was nothing but a bluegrey corpse...
1. Chapter 1

Hel-Kat

…_Temporal lobe…third degree…massive hemorrhage…busted legs…over seventy-eight percent…internal damage…pelvis split…bleeding in the abdominal cavity…inner sea leaking…spiral fracture…collar bone…scalp laceration …rotator cuff…big ol' whack…must be the shard…careful don't remove it yet…_

These sounds came in the haze, like kites without streamers of meaning. They floated in dark, and were the only things besides the burning of pain. Pain, which filled the universe, for there was nothing else. Sensory deprivation torture chamber, that was it, wasn't it? Nothing had existed before and nothing would exist after, for it would never end. The pain was a living _thing_ and it existed in every part of her and would go on living on and on and on.

Then one day the pain stopped. Except that was not right, the pain had not gone anywhere. _She_ had gone, had floated, no, sunk, below it, sunk down to the depths below it, below anything, to where blackness had weight and was heavy, and breathing stopped, but that was okay, because while it was unpleasant while she liked breathing it was easier to be a little uncomfortable with empty lungs and not feel pain than to be in the place where you _saw_ blackness but _felt _the burning red glowing all over you like chemicals it was okay it was good so just relax and don't worry and you know, hush, because there might be things in this blackness and things might hear and she might be dragged back into the pain or find something worse that made her jump back up to it so please be very very quiet or -

Two yellow eyes glowed out of the dark and behind them appeared a woman, naked and dragging herself along with her hands and soon she saw why because the woman was dragging her own legs along behind her and down below the waist she was dead, nothing but a blue and grey corpse.

She leaped back for the level above right at the moment when someone decided to reach down and pull her. Leaped because the half-dead woman was coming for _her_ and would be waiting for her down just below the pain any time she should happen to fall and so she tried to get up, up past the fire and glow because the woman would not reach up for her but would grab whatever fell down, and someone was pulling from above. Air was pushed into her lungs and it was hot and used, but it was _air_, so as it escaped through her mouth and nose she tried to hold it in, but it rushed out and she tried to get it back, but it was no use. Her belly hitched with her effort but that only increased the pain there. Again the warm, used air was shoved in and it went in her mouth to the back and came up in her nose and tried to exit that way but hit a block where someone was holding her nostrils shut and the air stopped but the pressure there increased and made her ears feel full, but most of it went down to her lungs, which also felt strangely pressured. When it came out this time she _pushed_ and choked and tasted blood, but then she whooped, and from beyond she heard some word of encouragement and whooped inward again, hurting her belly so she cried and the airway was opened. There were fuzzy distant cheers that she couldn't see for the red glow and a big slab of a hand on her forehead. "Good job," she thought she heard, "…a doctor..always…." A bitter taste filled her mouth and did not go away for a long time. But as it faded, so did the pain, and Helga Sinclair drifted off to sleep on the lulling current of the medicine.


	2. Chapter 2

As she came to, pieces that had fallen together in her absence began to surface. The pain was back, and the dark haze, but this last was lessened now, lighter, as if she were closer to its surface. Vaguely she suspected that this was perhaps not the first time she had come back up from the exhaustive sleep of no pain, and that these heavy naps with their preceding bitter taste happened at regular intervals with a very induced quality. They cycle must have happened several times before she was aware of being aware of it, otherwise how would she have memories of acrid gunk dissolving in her mouth, followed by sleepiness so complete that it was lovely to give into, even if sleep might be death.

How could she not know when the pain left?

The woman had come back as well; not herself but the image of her. Projected on glass in front of her: the image of the woman pulling her dead legs behind her, and she understood. Her legs were not corpse legs, but blue and black green pussy burns. Hips - round, beautiful, dead - a bone cradle of quivering, living agony. The firm, translucent grey muscles were like jelly, without skin to hold them in. This rolling girdle, she realized, held the center for all her pain. In either direction it spread, up her chest and down to her toes. Her splintered, black legs. The wide wings of her pelvis cradled it and held it up. For the first time, she was aware of her head. It ached.

Pain built up and time stretched out. She wondered if this had been the way it was between other naps. The pain grew, and she felt her body agitating, worsening it. Her mind began to cry out for the bitter taste with its herald of relief. Air was too thick to breath.

At last there was a movement between her lips as a skinny rod pushed bitter hardness onto her tongue. Skinny? She wondered. Why should she think it was skinny? Had she sucked from something thicker before? Not wanting to think, she waited for nasty bitterness to fill her mouth, and sleep to fill her brain.

Nothing happened.

Her mouth was too dry to dissolve the capsules. Their awful taste remained fixed in the center of her tongue, giving no relief. The pain stretched itself in her bones with a smug grin. Her misery hit a new level she had not thought possible.

Saving grace came as she felt something clink against her teeth. Liquid in the smallest measure dripped into her mouth: water. Water! Not enough to reach her throat, it wet the capsules just enough. With an explosion she would have liked to spit out, they activated and instead she sucked them back and swallowed. Soon after that she slept.


	3. Chapter 3

That was you that night, babe. Sleeping in the cool sheets, warmed with your fever. You didn't know, then, what was going to happen. Nobody did, but least of all you, on some things. But on others, maybe you knew the most. Maybe, lying there sleeping just below the pain and beyond the grip of the blue woman that shared your name, maybe you knew more then than anyone ever would. But what you did know, babe, you wouldn't tell them. You wouldn't ever share with any of them how you felt then, between the stretches of sleep. To be sure they heard your screams, most of them. But how could you tell them your pain? Nobody knew there was pain like this in the world, did they? One does not talk to a deaf man about a barking dog. For all the man may watch the dog open his head, his eyes rolling and tongue hanging. He may watch the dog strain but he does not know the bark. Yet -

Yet one might speak to a blind man about color. As you lay there, babe, and waited for someone to poke pills in your mouth, you might have told someone of some of it. Just as there is a difference between scarlet and crimson, sayeth Helen Keller, there is a difference between the smell of an orange and a grapefruit. Maybe you could have said something. Maybe. But you, babe. You were about to wake. And you wouldn't be able to tell anyone anything for a long time, because you yourself would need to be told so much…


	4. Chapter 4

He always said you had such beautiful eyes. Liquid eyes, black they were. They were not large and round but they were large. Almond things, with thick black lashes. Very liquid looking. Everyone who knew you before always said you had beautiful eyes. You, Helga Sinclair, had _soulful_ eyes.

He always said it was a damned shame.


	5. Chapter 5

Note: This chapter may be subject to change when I next post, but the next chapter may take a week or so while I research some of the medical jargon. Please enjoy and please review!

> - Atlantean spoken

Joshua Sweet strode down the hall in nine large steps, wishing it were longer. Nine steps worth - anybody's steps - was not enough time to think. The large black man dipped his head as he came through the door into the wide lobby. Doorframes at the Whitmore place were larger than most, but still one never knew. Years of being very tall had made Sweet conscious of his head. The others gathered in the room watched from various chairs and sofas as the doctor found one of his own, a prominent red fixture in the room. Time and anticipation grew outward as the others waited for the doctor to speak. Sweet's mind, however, was elsewhere. Down in a dark volcano, three days ago…

_ Down here, down here!> The little boy called to his brother and sister. Small, white-haired children with smooth milk-cinnamon skin, they clambered over wreckage, splintered wood and wrenched, twisted metal. Shattered pebbles of glass winked on the ground, a hazard to tiny bare feet, which miraculously pattered around it. The little ones climbed with the skill of a people used to leaping and scaling, missing sharp edges of metal as easily as sharp edges of the rocks they were used to. The second two joined their brother on a springy plank of wood. He bent his knees, grinning as the board swayed under them. Testing it once more, it dipped further under his weight and rose again. Three children's giggles echoed in the vast underground chamber. Bending deep, the first boy jumped. The wood bounced with such force that all three shrieked for joy. As it came up and down once more, the plank shifted out of place, causing the metal bar and other debris holding it to fall. A scream came up from the wreck, causing the children to stop laughing and gasp, eyes wide. Tentatively, they climbed down, and stood on the ground, waiting. No scream followed, but after a moment, all three heard a small whine._

_ Is it an animal?> the little girl asked. She and the other looked to their older brother, who shrugged._

_ I don't know,> he said, It screamed. Animals don't scream, do they?> _

_ Yes,> said the other little boy, but it whined like an animal. >_

_ Why would there be a person down here? Kidagakash and Milo said everyone who did not come back was not coming back.> _

_ Then it is an animal. >_

_ Let's go see it! >_

_ Wait!> The older boy grabbed hold of his siblings._

_ What if it is dangerous?> They stopped. Nothing was said for a long time. Again, the mournful whine sounded. Without knowing why, the older boy shuddered._

_ It sounds hurt.> The words were in his mouth before they were in his head, but once out, they made sense to him. Whatever was calling sounded very weak. Of course, that meant it could be very _big_, and they would never know it, and he had been warned about how dangerous big, hurt animals could be. The other two waited, eyes flicking around, for their big brother. He sighed, relaxing his hold._

_ If it is trapped under the metal, it cannot get to us,> he took another deep breath, I see no reason why we cannot go see it.> The other two cheered. But,> he warned, we will go get someone once we see it.> Nodding, they all set off._

_ It was coming from here,> the younger boy said, pointing down a dark opening. A metal wall was held precariously up by blades of the shattered gyro-evac and the piece of metal pipe the three youngsters had shaken loose. The same three exchanged looks._

_ How do we…?> began the girl._

_ You go down and we will hold you,> said the oldest boy. He held out his hands to the smallest sibling. Each brother taking a hand, she was lowered carefully down into the hole. Her tiny feet dangled only a few inches from the ground. Looking up, she nodded. The older boy nodded back, and the two obediently dropped her. Squatting down, she peered around in the darkness._

_ There's nothing down here.> The little boy scratched his white head._

_ But it was coming from this way.> His sister shrugged._

_ There's no room down here. I want to come up.> The older boy stood, not taking in this conversation between his young siblings. He was looking around, searching. The sound had come from over here, but just because they could not see it did not mean the animal was down in the hole._

_ Mei-kahn! I want up! >_

_ Oh. Oh, yes!> he cried, remembering his little sister. He lifted her out. As he did, the metal beneath them shifted, causing all three to jump. An agonized scream ripped up behind them._

_ They fled._


	6. Chapter 6

Note: I have seen fit to postpone the chapter I was going to put here and put it three chapters later on, but they will all be updated sooner, I promise.

Soulful is such an awful adjective to stick someone with.

But with all that red lipstick gone, those eyes of yours really came out. It was Rourke that first tossed the small tube into your uniform, wasn't it? About the time you turned sixteen. To take the focus off those damned big eyes. Because big eyes weren't good for a soldier. Nobody wants to shove their man against a little puppy dog. But boy a good dose of Bullet-Proof Red fixed that, didn't it? Like you had blood all around your mouth. Like you were some rabid dog, instead of the pup…


End file.
